Friday Fun: How to wrangle an emu...

 

No, I am not talking about an Eastern Michigan University student or alumni, but that flightless large bird native to Australia that is a relative to the ostrich. Don’t get side tracked that this large bird is on the loose in an undisclosed large metropolitan residential area. Think of it like the condo apartment in New York where they found a live tiger…. Sometimes HOA managers have to call on a wide array of talent and resources.

EDITORIAL COMMENT: Expertise in catching and handling emus takes time to develop; this is not something they teach in CAI (Community Association Institute) classes, presumably because the need does not come about often. But, I have often said, “I am sure the bus station from crazy town has a drop off location right outside my office.”

Because state laws don’t prohibit a homeowner from raising these birds without a permit, and because I don’t manage an oppressive Association: if no one testifies they have seen this livestock and no one is complaining about the noise (google for emu vocalizations - very interesting) then we must let them be in the garage of the home in question. No commentary on the pathetic life these animals have, Homeowners have rights. Please remember that homeowner associations are formal legal entities created to maintain common areas; they have the authority to enforce deed restrictions, but the authority is often limited by federal, state and local laws as well as Board policies.

Obviously the safety of handlers and emus is a prime concern. Emus up to two months of age are reportedly easily restrained even though their legs at this stage are quite powerful. Emus use their strongly clawed feet as a defense mechanism. Their legs are among the strongest of any animals, allowing them to rip metal wire fences. By the age of about seven months the immature bird stands about 6 ½ feet high, weighs about 40 pounds (100 pounds at maturity). Their long legs allow them to take strides of up to 9 feet and at a speed of about 30 mph.

Most websites strongly suggest the use of protective clothing; heavy leather chaps and protective footwear are the essential minimum. In looking around my office for "appropriate protective clothing", I only have minimal choices – under my desk are a pair of high heels, very cute yellow crocs, tennis shoes and polka dot wellies, because a well dressed professional must be ready for any occasion. No steel toed boots, those are in the trunk of my car along with my leather gloves and hard hat, because a HOA manager must be ready for anything. Pulling the blue jeans out of my office closet and donning a long sleeve shirt, I realize this is the first time “leather chaps” might be appropriate. (How do I explain that business expense to the IRS?) And, please be aware that an emu wrangler does not wear a watch, because you want to make sure that you don’t have anything on your wrist that get tangled up in the feathers or attract the bird to peck at. I don’t know that I can explain to the IRS that an emu ate my Fossil watch and not have full documentation.

While I change, my assistant, having called animal control, identifies the other appropriate steps that should be taken. I document them here for your own research, and my caution to you is to rely on the advice of experts.... I am not an emu wrangling expert, but I am now no longer a novice.
Manipulate the emu into a corner or against a fence by slowly walking close behind it. DO NOT – I REPEAT DO NOT approach an emu from the front, their knees bend backwards so that sharp clawed foot will come straight at you, only approach them from the rear or side. They are endowed with good eyesight and hearing, which allows them to detect predators in the vicinity, meaning you cannot sneak up on it probably because you will be laughing too hard to stay quiet. Capture the emu by gently getting a hold on its two small wings. Position one hand across the very frightened bird’s back, while applying downward pressure; what about its head you ask? That is why you left your watch on – to distract it. Place the other hand around the side of the emu to get a grip on the soft skin area between the legs and hard area of the breast plate. Act gently, quietly, and unflappably calm to soothe the terrified animal, but be firm with the animal at the same time and please behave with all professional demeanor and grace. (Please remember that this is a 6 foot bird, so it is like trying to fox trot with the karate kid while you maneuver the gentle giant into a yoga pose known as “frog posture”. Holding a struggling emu can be hard work. Most tend to settle down within a minute or so with a few exceptions. Ask for help holding the bird if you are struggling…. Ask for a psychiatrist if you think you can do this alone.

Hold the wings firmly and keep your hands and arms as close to its body as possible to avoid being kicked. Position your feet and lower shins so they are on the outside of the emu´s feet - the back of the emu´s leg has a hard, slightly serrated edge which can inflict a painful blow to the shin. Next time rethink the steel toed shoes and opt for the polka-dot wellies; however they may not make the appropriate fashion statement with leather chaps, so I must talk to the IRS about my new investment in cowboy boots to go with the chaps.

The emu does not deliberately try to injure you but will struggle to get loose and can cause injury during these struggles. If you do find yourself in front of a struggling emu and in a potentially dangerous situation, try to seize the bird´s upper neck or back of the head, and pull the neck and head forward and downwards. This tends to put the animal off balance, and negates the emu kicking forwards, giving you a little more time torun like the dickens!

So what is your take away from this – Livestock in residential areas is an interesting dilemma for Homeowner Associations, and your Board of Directors can direct the policy on "how to" handle the situation.... but when it comes down to it, HOA managers will have to "handle" any situation.